July 31, 2009

Listen up……

If we are friends, and you call me and ask me to help you move, you aren’t REALLY my friend.


What the fuck am I supposed to say?! NO?!

But do I really wanna burn off a Saturday tryin to jam your fuckin 1100 pound armoir through a doorway it’s too big to fit in, so we have to balance it diagonally off our knees and shoulders without chipping any paint off the wall????!!!!

Fuckin pass, you asshole.

I do NOT feel like blowin my innards into my nutsack so we can get your doublestack maytag washer/dryer combo up the inevitable 3 flights of stairs cause you want a view.

Hit the yellow pages and call “Starving ANYONE BUT ME” and have people that HAVE to, move you.

And no, you havin coffee ready at the fuckin jobsite isn’t enough.

Maybe if your girlfriend blows me.


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