May 22, 2009

Attn: sex toy makers

Who in their right fuckin mind, is steppin up to any sex shoppe counter in the WORLD with this thing??!!

I have bought toys. Tame ones. And it was still somewhat uncomfy lookin at the weird, always QUADRAFOCLED, sweaty dude in the tank top listening to Queensryche on his shitty radio.

It’s always a guy like that back there.

But this is too much.

This thing looks strangely similar to the Sarlaac Pit that Han, Chewie,and Luke were gonna get thrown into on Tatooine, with Jabba on his sandbarge nearby.

I would feel embarrassed for MYSELF if this was the only “Pearl” I felt worthy enough to BUY.

Jeesus H. Christ.

Back to the drawing board at the Research and Development team at this company.

FIRST thing….

Please do not make ANYTHING that looks like it might want to EAT MY COCK!


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