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May 18, 2009

Attn: Missionary Position

I for one must apologize to you, Mr. Missionary.

Now I know this may seem hard to believe for most, but I recently had sex!!! And man sex is fun.

I went into as I try to always do now. I really only have sex when I REALLY want to, and then when said decision has been made, I try to show up, “get outta the way”, think of others, and work hard.

And I have to say, this is a pretty great fuckin framework.

But alas, us Papas really are goobers about it.

The “Missionary” position for most of us I think, is the position we think of as the “obligatory starting position” that we kinda deal with until the situation seems comfy enough to break out into what position we REALLY wanna lean into.
I don’t know if mamas feel the same way, but we sorta deal with “Missionary” as papas.

But lemme tell ya…..

The glorious MAMA I had the HONOR of layin down with the other night brought this “Missionary” shit BACK FROM THE DEAD!!!

She kinda didn’t really need me to do anything other than just be arched and still, and then her hips started circulatin and makin this papa fuckin kinda nuts.

I actually found myself havin to shoulder roll out of Missionary in order for the party to not end unnecessarily early.

We moved into some other postions that I typically like, usually like more, but after a bit, I found myself wantin to head back to “Old Faithful”.

Mamas NEVER cease to amaze me, and to be honest, I GOT FUCKIN STRAIGHT GUMBALLED.

And then in all her independent mama glory, I was sent home.

Sucking my OWN thumb.

Missionary Man…. I salute you.

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