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May 14, 2009

Attn: Mamas

This is a BIG one.
If the cute, funny, witty, interesting guy asks you to dinner, and you find yourself ecstatic to the point where you are diggin in that special section of the panty drawer,because you are really gonna want a papa to see them later, and while at dinner he asks to go “Halfs” on dinner, PLEASE just give the douchebag half the money and then sew that pretty pearl shut forever.
Papa needs to pay ANY fuckin time he’s on any level hopin to see these pretty panties.
Any papa who thinks he can half dinner and get some ass, better be Brad fuckin Pitt, or that new Ubery Vampire kid.

NO OTHER FUCKIN EXCEPTIONS MAMAS.

If this dude doesn’t wanna pick up your lamb shank, you are gonna fuckin hate yourself in the morning if he gets away with fuckin you poorly the night before.

And I guarantee you, any dude who wants to half any one of the first 300 dates is absolutely gonna fuck poorly.

Sorry Papas.. FACTS is FACTS.

Love,
Shane

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