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May 14, 2009

Attn: Fuckin Whackjobs

I had a girl a few weeks ago who has been a friend of mine for the better part of ten years, fuckin storm by me at a party like I had anally raped her pet cat. I immediately did a self-check of my recent behavior regarding her, came up with nothing that I coulda possibly done, and then tracked her down and asked her, “yo mama what’s up? You pissed off at me?”

You may wanna sit….

“Yeah you quit following me on Twitter… SOOOO RUDE”.

To be honest, I couldn’t really believe it. I wanted to politely say excuse me, grab a bad free promotional water from the bar, and throw it in my own face to wake myself from my own fuckin life.

or say…

“Listen you terrified, self-involved cunt, if you could POSSIBLY be as empty and vapid to personalize who I follow on Twitter, and who I don’t, I think it’s probly best if we both take a second from our friendship, and get some coffee, let’s say, on the 9th of fuckin NEVER.

People truly are out of their fuckin minds.

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