May 5, 2009

Attn: "Happy Couple"

I know, I know. It’s the most magical day of your entire lives. I’m really happy to be invited. I like you both, and think it’s a great match, with endless cool opportunities for happiness and sucsess.
Until I get the wedding invite and you have decided to get married in Micronesia.

Just so you know, I on no level feel like bankrupting myself by spending a little under 45 thousand dollars so I can fly halfway around the fuckin world to do something that you guys could do closer without me havin to take out a second FUCKING mortgage on my house to be a part of.
I’m not tryin to be selfish. I really WANT to be there, I do.
But if your girlhood dream was to have barking sea lions while you watch the Grecian sunset, please just accept my “cannot attend” now and save yourself the postage on the fucking invite.
It puts everyone in a lame spot.

I’m not bein a dick Mama I promise. I just would like to pay my rent.


Love, Shane

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