May 5, 2009

Attn: Bicyclists

I think it’s TOTALLY fair to share the road with you. HOWEVER…

If you aren’t Lance Armstrong, or one of them “TYPE” of bicyclists with the cool jerseys, and the smokin bike, and them goofy spandex pants, please do NOT fuckin pretend you are a car!!
I had a dude, reminiscent of that old man in Friday the 13th, that was just hummin along at 6 m.p.h. while he was barely balancing, rollin like he was an automobile in the middle of the street.
This was stressful as fuck, and there were 30 cars behind me honkin, while you were desperately tryin to not wipeout.
I was havin visions of you losing control, and me rollin over your melon in a screeching, panicked, freakout.
Just stick to the right side of the road, and slow as you go my man.
For real….

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