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February 25, 2009

Attn: Jonas Brothers


Gentlemen, we goota have a quick talk about the “purity rings”.
We need to put those in a drawer for a year, and the three of you need to mow down a few thousands chicks in 09.
It’s EXTREMELY rare when a guy gets a “girl pass”.
Mamas have and never will have a problem getting laid. All they have to do is step out to any bar, not be drooling, and wait…

Papas WITHOUT a “girl pass” must spend a good deal of energy trying to score ass, and lotsa times do not.

Even the “goalie” in a girl posse can get laid any night she wants. That scowly, just a bit overweight nuerotic bitch that will try and hate EVERYONE outta makin out. Even she can get laid if she has had enough alcohol to mask her horrible personality.

YOU GUYS are quite possibly throwing away the single greatest gift a man can have.

YOU ARE GOING TO REGRET IT.

Don’t EVER treat this gift as flippantly as you are.

These loony broads wanna suck 8 ways from Thursday, and then leave and go home and tell their friends they sucked off a Jonas Brother. Do NOT deny them the highlight of their Idaho based life.

God is into it for ya. I checked.

Love,
Shane

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