January 18, 2009

A Word From Brownville

Greetings Earthlings! Here is the fuckin’ deal. My name is Joey Brown. I hang in Brownville, Nebraska. I got a text last night from fucking Powers. It read: “I’m buried…” I shit you not. I couldn’t believe it.

Afterall, Shane is where everybody wants to be, runnin’ around with everybody that everybody wants to be running around with, and he can’t take a moment to drop a note to the 10,000+ loyal, unique visitors making a 60 day blog wonder? A moment. A little exsistentialism never hurt anybody. Just follow directions and you could post directly from the Blackberry. Takes 30 seconds! A photo less than 5.

I replied: “C’mon! Dig deep! Get some control over your life. Do you know how hard it is to receive a text, let alone, make a blog post from a pig farm in rural Nebraska? Meet my demands and I’ll think about it.”

Joe’s Demands
Next time I’m in LA I want:

(1) Hang time with Paris.
(2) Smirnoff, Tequila & Bombay Sapphire
(3) Tacos from that Taco place
(4) A press walk so I can get on WireImage again (I’ve been BIG in Nemaha County since)
(5) Hang time with Paris.

His response: “Done!”

I replied: “If you fuck me on any of the above, I double-dare you to try & get past the doorman at TJ’s Tavern next time you come to town.”

So, I am guest posting on Joey Bishop filled in for Carson 177 times. Leno like 300. I ain’t no Joey Bishop, but I’m better than the poster boy for comedy in a socialist state Jay Leno. If you want to guest blog on, drop a note. Maybe you will get the nod next time around.

“Hey Joe, what did you do this weekend?”

“I fed the pigs and guest posted on Shane Powers Dot Com.”

I see a movie here!

In the end, I’m in Brownville, Nebraska, USA, keeping the generators going in below freezing temperatures so the pigs don’t die – NOT in Park City, Utah, spending time with the A-List.

I wish my TV worked like this…

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