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December 13, 2008

Attention Heisman Winners

YouTube Preview ImageThat trophy you will win tonight is fuckin a piece of shit. It means nothing. When you are standin up there holdin it, and all the past penniless, drunken winners are clappin, and your family is beaming with pride, just know that trophy is a fuckin sham.
Should you life of dedication to excellance be celebrated? Absolutely. And deservedly you should feel good about your accomplishments.
But the trophy for the best college football player of the year is bullshit. It’s a piece of heavy garbage. A fuckin meaningless paper weight.
I have felt this way ever since the best college quarterback to EVER play lost to Eddie George.
Now George was a fine running back. But even HE seemed a bit embarrassed to walk up and accept the thing.
Above you will see factual evidence of Tommie Frazier.
He lead his team to back-to-back National Championships, and in his senior season led an undefeated team to a blowout victory against the @nd best team in the country that year.
Most of you don’t give a shit, but guess what? Fuck you.
This is one of the single most haunting things in my awesomely ridiculously stupidly amazing life.
Whoever wins tonight. Congrats. But it means ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
Until somebody makes it right, and gives Tommie one, I’ll never ever look at that trophy as anything more than an opportunity to sell on ebay.

HEISMAN VOTERS YOU CAN SUCK MY COCK.

Twice.

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